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You may show up anyway, asserting your position as the new wife. You spouse will have to over and over choose between you and his original family. You are going to get so tired of constantly being the center of conflict and so tired of all the hate directed at you and no one is going to sympathize with you.
When you do impose yourself where the BW and her children and extended family and friends are, you will feel the scarlet letter that you wear burning in your chest no matter how high you try to hold your head. You and your stolen spouse will fight over this more than you can imagine in the years to come. When he starts to pull away from you and works late more, or isn’t insatiable in bed with you anymore, or cuts his hair a new way you are going to be terrified.
Even if you look like the Cleavers on the surface it is under there bubbling and will come out.